I’ve been thinking a lot lately about being a parent…. Mostly about being a mom and a special 2-word phrase that goes along with it. Mom Guilt.
Why The Dreaded Mom Guilt?
If you’re a parent, specifically a mother, you recognize this word. This feeling. This action. There is so much loaded in those two words. Mom Guilt. You have likely used these words many times since becoming a parent. You have likely heard it thousands of times from your friends or family around you. My question is, why? Why is Mom Guilt a trend? Why is Mom Guilt even a thing? Why does Mom guilt even exist? Why are we feeling guilty about our activities as a mother, specifically?
When I was pregnant with my second child, someone asked me if there’s anything I felt I did wrong with Ellie that I would do differently with my next baby. What? First of all, Ellie was just over a year the time. I hardly even had enough time to screw her up. When I heard this question I thought for a hot second about my answer. My answer was simple, no. There was nothing I was going to do differently with my second child that I felt I did wrong with my first. Obviously, there would be some correction for different personality types, different needs, etc. However, fundamentally I didn’t feel like there was something I needed to do differently.
And then I felt rude for saying that out loud, without any further explanation. Like, who did I think I was just saying NO, I got it right the first time!
And then I thought “why do I feel bad for being proud of myself, and my kids?” and then I thought…… you know where this is going!
Honestly, I am the best mother I can be. I will say it! I am not ashamed of saying it either…..And neither should you. ENOUGH WITH THE MOM GUILT.
Goodbye, Mom Guilt!
We’re all doing the best we can every single day. I doubt that you wake up and make an active effort to half ass your parenting. So what if you have a moment of weakness at the end of a long day and you lose it. You are human. Why do you have Mom Guilt over it? 99% of the day you are a great mom so why do we let those few moments of indiscretion tear us down? Why are we spending time focusing on the negative activity? It ends up being a self-fulfilling prophecy. Instead, you should be celebrating our positive activities! Promote self-assurance and pride in the decisions you make and the obstacles you overcome. Your children will see that and model their behavior after that confidence.
Does this mean I relish in the moments where I lost my cool? Where I raised my voice? When I sent my kids to timeout? Let them cry because I needed a moment?…. (the list goes on, and on, AND ON)… Of course not! Those moments do make me sad. BUT I also recognize that I’m human, and you are too! I don’t feel bad because I have moments of indiscretion because honestly, I feel that most of the times I’m doing a damn good job. And all I can hope is that my children remember most of the good and little of the bad. The more I let myself feel ‘guilty’ or dwell on these moments the more I create a bad psyche. And a mom with a bad psyche is not a fun mom. Scratch that, a person with a bad psyche is not a fun person.
My last post Wishes all the way, a very happy Mother’s Day I put forward a challenge to be present with your kids and cherish in our natural gifts. In this post, I am challenging you to celebrate your awesome parenting moments! Comment, post, share, do whatever you need to to build yourself up. Appreciate your great moments. You deserve it! No one else will do it for you. Be your biggest fan…. and STOP THE MOM GUILT!